All or nothing.

I've been doing so well lately with my fasting and i know ive only fasted for 4 days and that sounds pathetic to some people but i havent been able to gain control for so long. I kinda feel like im doing too well and im going to trip up anytime soon and gain, gain, gain. That thought is too painful right now. I feel so in control and its great and to make matters even better, my mum's hairdresser came round yesterday and i havent saw him for a couple of months. He said it looked like i'd lost weight, i graciously thanked him and walked into the front room. I was happy i had the biggest, cheesiest grin across my face it probly closely resembled that of the chesire cat's smile!

I haven't even felt hungry which has really surprised me, ive not had the desire to binge at all. I usually end up bingeing from the smallest bit of food, ill convince myself that 'one bite wont hurt' then 'one more wont do any damage' then another, then another until eventually im stuffing my face like an animal because 'im going to gain a pound anyway' and have to eat everything i have missed whilst ive been fasting. I usually end up bingeing until im sick or repulsed by the sight of food.
It's kinda like i have to have it all or nothing at all, and ive found im like that with most things in life. Im either obsessive about it or have no interest, i cant just do things in moderation. Like alcohol i cant have a little bit i have to be paraletic drunk, or i wont touch it.

But everything been pretty good at the moment. Oh apart from my social life, ive been finding myself making up excuses not to go out with friends because i know it will either involve food or alcohol(alcohol is my biggest weakness, i can never say the simple two letter word N O), and i dont like being the only sober one. I just cannot risk losing contol its too precious and fresh at the moment. But because of this ive not been getting asked out as much anymore because everyone knows ill make up some excuse, i dont know whether this is a good or bad thing because being thin is way more important.
How do you guys manage a social life??

Im really really worried that i will slip up this weekend because ive been busy all week with college etc, and not really had the time to think about food. But being stuck at home with the family and food is going to be hard. Especially how they insist they have to have a takeaway every saturday(grrr!). I might go and stay with my boyfriend Olly this saturday, but then he'll be wondering why im not eating. This weekend is going to be my biggest challenge, if i can overcome this then im sure ill do alright next week. I wanna lose three pounds by tuesday.
Well i hope you girls have a good weekend:), and thankyou all for the support on my last post its really helped!

Lexy xx